The Tantric Iron Chef of Feng Shui retains a large veiny bent-in-the middle knockwurst. I am hung like a jury and harder than Chinese math ! Marinated by experience, I can lick the bark off a tree,breathe through my ears , suck the lug nuts off a Chevy and I don't need batteries ! Performs Yonic pleasures like no other due to fingerpainting classes. Regular flossing by me will give you a pinker than pink vertical smile ! The application of hot oil and two stones will soothe your spirit and enable you to start a cult ! My addiction includes hot tubs and performing debauchery to all your orifices. My knuckles don't drag on the ground and I am the poster boy for facial hair, otherwise, I am hairless ! Still fit in regular airline seating due to multiple insertions. I am the scratch to your itch ! Expedition to paddle down the Grand Canyon in July ..need one more...all expense covered ! In Bad Santa's world, dessert comes first !